Cam Newton during an interview on the It’s Giving podcast discussing marriage, dating with children, and his personal dating experiences.

During a recent interview on the It’s Giving Podcast, ex NFL player Cam Newton said that a woman’s dating value decreases once she has multiple children. 

The comment quickly circulated online, sparking debate about gender standards and modern dating expectations.

Newton isn’t entirely wrong to argue that children change dating dynamics, because they do. However, a problem surfaces when that logic is only applied to women. If multiple children affect a woman’s dating prospects, the same standard must apply to men.

The topic came about when interviewee Sarah Fontenot raised a question about family hierarchy, specifically, whether a spouse should come before the children in a marriage or relationship.

“If we’re talking about hierarchy…what if you had a three-year-old? You still going to choose your [6 month] fiancé over your three-year-old?” Newton replied.

Newton concluded that women with children from previous relationships may have difficulty finding men willing to prioritize a relationship where mothers choose their children first. He made it clear that this reality ultimately brings their dating prospects down. 

This take isn’t a completely bad one, and it’s not far from the truth. However, Newton never explicitly suggested the same fate for men.

Women also consider existing children into their dating decisions, a detail that should not be ignored in discussions like this.

In fact, The Survey Center on American Life, a nonpartisan and non-profit organization that studies the culture of Americans, in a 2023 survey stated that “Men and women have similar views when it comes to dating someone who is already a parent … Forty-three percent of Americans say they would be less likely to date someone who had children from a previous relationship.”

So, nearly half of all adult Americans are less likely to date someone who already has children, which would imply men’s dating prospects also decrease once having any. This reality reinforces Newton’s broader point, but only if the standard is applied equally to both men and women.

As mentioned, the issue wasn’t that Newton’s argument lacked logic, it’s that it was short of applying that logic consistently. Using Newton’s opinion selectively risks turning a legitimate observation about dating dynamics into a double standard, which undermines the fairness of the whole argument.

Newton alone has nine children with three different women. If children lower dating value, the question isn’t whether that standard exists, instead it’s whether it’ll be applied equally to men like himself.